This opens up a whole new perspective for me. I once looked with pity upon my “lost” neighbors as I would drive past them on the way to Sunday meetings at my “local church.” If they knew the truth about the fires of hell, they would change their self-indulgent ways, find their place in the nearest evangelical pew, and get their heaping share of guilt and manipulation every week like the rest of us. Well, that’s how I used to think. Now I look with pity upon my evangelical neighbors who go through the Sunday morning ritual when they could be sleeping in, or enjoying time in their flower gardens, or taking their kids to the lake.

You see, we gave up Christmas and Easter about twenty years ago; at least, trying to celebrate these two holidays as “holy days” or Christian festivals. Our family enjoys the secular aspects of Christmas and Easter—like trimming the tree and the house, stockings on the mantle, chocolate bunnies, malted milk balls, and Easter egg hunts for the kids—but we quit celebrating the manger scene and the empty tomb once a year. Mixing the secular and the sacred just didn’t work for us; besides, we couldn’t find any commands or examples in the New Testament where the early church established and observed these annual festivals. Instead, we try to express our wonder and thanksgiving at these two realities, the humility of Christ’s incarnation and the glory of His resurrection, every day of our lives.

It felt good knowing it would be my last Easter service in the institutional church (IC), because I’m only a few weeks away from leaving it all behind. By the first of June, I will be truly “churchless.” I’m just hoping that I can be a voice, perhaps even a friend, to those who are bailing out of the institutional church. Not that I have all the answers to a life outside institutional religion, but just to say “It’s okay to walk with Jesus and others outside the box,” and “It’s going to be alright, even though others may not understand our decision.”

Several people told me after yesterday’s service that it was a meaningful time for them, especially the Lord’s Supper, where I explained the difference between a memorial remembrance of Jesus’ death and a mystical sacrament with meritorious grace being transferred to the participant. I read from 1 Corinthians where Paul warns of partaking of the elements of the Lord’s Supper in an unworthy manner, yet recognizing that there’s a huge difference between that and feeling unworthy to come to the table. The Lord’s Supper is for the very worst of us because it reminds us that our salvation does not rest upon what we have done, but what He has done for us. Like the old hymn, “nothing in my hands I bring; simply to the cross I cling.”

1. I’m not burning any bridges! Not with friends who remain in vocational ministry or those who simply attend an institutional church. If they can passionately pursue their relationship with Jesus and other believers in that context, then who am I to persuade them to leave? Or treat them any differently?
2. I’m not sharpening my axe! Personally, I suspect the IC will always be with us. I refuse to go on a crusade against the institution and try to single-handedly dismantle the system. If people approach me and ask why I quit attending church meetings at the local Baptist church, then I will tell them honestly. But I have no intentions of ripping into pastors, church leaders, and members for attending an IC if that’s where they feel they need to be.
3. I’m not planting a house church! To me, most house churches are simply a miniature version of their larger cousin on the corner of 4th and Main. Most people have great difficulties with the multiplication process, so most house churches end up renting larger space and, the next thing you know, they eventually erect a building of their own. Many house churches follow a pattern of worship (aka “liturgy”) and emphasize “preaching” to the point that I see very little difference other than the square footage.

My hope is simply to live alongside other believers in a way that makes Jesus known to those who don’t know Him. I want to share His life with others around me without feeling compelled to ask, “So where do you go to church?” And my primary aim will be to encourage other believers in the faith, looking for ways to stimulate them in their love for Christ and their neighbor, as well as to join them in doing good for those around us, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Some people have a difficult time letting go and some even go back after leaving the institutional church. Whether you leave altogether or continue to attend Sunday meetings, your main priorities are loving God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength…and loving your neighbor as yourself. There may be times when you sincerely miss the contact with brothers and sisters in Christ from your previous church connection; so why not drop in from time to time, join them in praising God corporately, and linger over the fellowship time. However, you may find it more painful or frustrating to re-engage people in that particular context and, if so, perhaps you can still maintain those relationships in more neutral surroundings. Invite them over for dessert or a meal. Let them know you treasure their friendship and that you have no intentions of giving that up, just because you no longer attend their Sunday meetings. Some may not understand, no matter how hard you try to explain the way you feel.

But really, there’s no place for guilt in your spiritual life simply because you have chosen to walk a different path, one that perhaps few people are willing to travel. The time may come when more may join us in the journey, but for now it may be a quite lonely road.

Part 1: A Child Following Hard After Father
Part 2: From Legalism to Grace
Part 3: Broken Hearts and Broken Promises
Part 4: Leaving and Coming
Part 5: Deconstructions and Constructions

While living in Germany for a brief period of time, God brought a fellow American into Heidi’s life and the two of them began getting together informally to share their lives from week to week. At some point in their relationship, she says (excerpted from part 5):

I started asking questions. Just where did we get American-style, institutional churches anyway? They didn’t remind me too much of what I read in Scripture. I started wondering about our formulation of “church”….lots of people, sitting in a room arranged with a stage and an audience, listening to what basically amounted to a concert and then listening to someone in front talk through a passage of Scripture…what did this have to do with participating in the Body of Christ, having real relationships with other believers, building them up, inviting them to live in the life of Christ, meeting each other’s needs, feeding the widow and the orphan, fighting poverty and loving our neighbors? Was it a necessary component of following God and knowing God? I had no doubt that some people could find, in the context of normal, institutional churches, true fellowship and encouragement and life as the body of Christ; some people could find a place to meet others’ needs and get their own met; some people could feed the widow and the orphan through the context of their local church, and could fight poverty, and could love their neighbors. I’d seen it, and even at one time experienced it myself. God first came for me, remember, within the context of church and church conferences.

But was it necessary that it be that way? Just because some people could find, in the context of traditional, institutional local churches, what God must have meant when he called us a “Body”, did that mean it was the only way? The God-ordained way? Did he spell it out, that it had to happen that way? Because if it was, why was I missing it, and why were so many other people missing it, when we wanted to find it so badly?

I tried to go back to church. I did. Every time I would end up either angry, or bawling my eyes out in tears from the condemnation and shame that I found there. Meanwhile, without being in the local church, I was growing more than I ever had. I was reading and learning like crazy. God was speaking to me. I was going to conferences (like Ransomed Heart’s “Captivating”) and eating up what God was teaching me there. I was spending time in relationship with other believers; I was finding myself in the unique position of meeting the needs of people who were left outside in the cold by their respective churches. For so long I’d defined myself by certain things. Bible studies. Quiet times. Small groups. Sunday school. Evangelism trips with members from church. Sermon notes. My “life in Christ” was really “life in church” – and the funny thing was, it gave me many burdens to carry, many “plates to spin” as C. J. Mahaney put it in that groundbreaking talk on legalism I talked about earlier. Even good things became burdens, part of the shame game that seemed designed to make sure my behavior matched that of “the good Christian” as defined by Church XYZ, but none of it brought me intimacy with my Father. My soul was left dry and empty by the organized church, and yet God had begun to work in amazing ways in my life….outside of the box of organized religion.

We have set out on a new adventure, trying to understand “church” as something different. If others want to continue thinking along traditional lines, that’s okay with us. We certainly understand the benefits of being part of something big, especially when children (especially teenagers) are involved. In some respects, it’s like going to the Mall of America. You don’t have to go anywhere else! Everything you need, or think you need, is under one roof.

We’re still part of a large congregation that meets in its own special building on Sundays, but I don’t think it will be for much longer. The sticky problem for me: I am employed by that congregation and, until I can work out a way to replace the income, our family is dependent upon their financial support. We love the people there and we don’t want to cause any hurt or division when we leave; in fact, we would love to remain connected to many of our brothers and sisters there. The ball will be in their court, as far as we’re concerned.

So for now, we have a foot in both worlds. We’re learning about our freedom in Christ and how Father wants us to walk with Him day by day. That’s been a huge adjustment, because I have often felt defined by my role in the local church or even by my wider role in denominational life. And I honestly feel that I had exchanged worship for the living Christ with worship of a book, although one that claims to be His very Word breathed out to men. Yes, I had become a bibliolater! And I was so enamored with “the book” and teaching “the book” and reading “the book” that I didn’t notice that I had virtually no relationship with the Author.

We’ll be “going to church” this morning, as always, but we are looking forward to the future when we can just BE the church, living alongside other believers and those who don’t believe in Jesus.

What should we think of such people who profess to know Christ and yet, seemingly, have turned their backs on the body of Christ? Are they simply backsliders? In Stan Firth’s book, Custom and Command (available as a free PDF download), he writes,

It is impossible, however, to categorize them as “backsliders”, for they continue in their personal devotion to Christ, and seem to display the generally accepted characteristics of Christian discipleship – except in the whole area of church life.

It is possible that you have not yet come across believers who could be described in this way; but as an increasing number of Christians are making this change, the probability is that you have met one or two at least—or soon will do! Such an encounter usually provokes one of three reactions: some people are highly critical of such a departure from normal Christian practice; others are delighted and start moving in this unusual lifestyle themselves; others again are just confused—as I was for several years.

This movement has been quietly occurring around the world with little fanfare or publicity, for perhaps forty or fifty years, some would say. However, it has recently been announced by George Barna through his book, Revolution. I heard someone comment a few years ago that he thought Barna was quoted in more American pulpits than Jesus Christ, speaking of the popularity and notoriety among evangelicals; but this famous researcher of all things Christian has risked his entire reputation by identifying with those he describes as “revolutionaries” who have grown weary of organized religion. He writes,

Scripture teaches us that devoting your life to loving God with all your hear, mind, strength, and soul is what honors Him. Being part of a local church may facilitate that. Or it might not.

Sadly, many people will label this view “blasphemy.” However, you should realize that the Bible neither describes not promotes the local church as we know it today. Many centuries ago religious leaders created the prevalent form of “church” that is so widespread in our society to help people be better followers of Christ. But the local church many have come to cherish—the services, offices, programs, buildings, ceremonies—is neither biblical nor unbiblical. It is abiblical—that is, such an organization is not addressed in the Bible.

In fact, if you scour the Bible passages included at the beginning of Chapter 3, you will find no allusions to or descriptions of a specific type of religious organization or spiritual form. The Bible does not rigidly define the corporate practices, rituals, or structures that must be embraced in order to have a proper church.… We should keep in mind that what we call “church” is just one interpretation of how to develop and live a faith-centered life. We made it up. It may be healthy or helpful, but it is not sacrosanct. [George Barna, Revolution (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2005), pp. 36-38]

Check out some of the links on this blog, then check out some of their links, and I think you’ll discover a whole new paradigm of thinking about what it means to “be church” and to follow Jesus Christ like one of the revolutionaries Barna writes about. Let me close with one brief quotation that I really like,

The Revolutionary mind-set is simple: Do whatever it takes to get closer to God and to help others to do the same. Obliterate any obstacle that prevents you from honoring God with every breath you take. Be such an outstanding example of the Christian faith that no one will question your heart or lifestyle—except those who see institutional survival as equally or more important than the alleged influence of the institution they defend. [Ibid., p. 39]